Englishness

I intent to write in English here,not for being cool but in fact it is much easier than my mother tongue.Because,the most beautiful things I've seen,I've heard and I've done;had carried some Englishness inside it.Not for making some kind of Nazi signature,I like English language's flexibility.It is just much more easier for me to write in English.It was not used to be like that but in time,it turned out that way.

Speaking,writing in Turkish,my mother tongue always made me panic,made me have anxiousness in myself.There is a lot of reason for that.I never,atleast not much have been cursed in English,didn't hear much dirty,bad words that have been directed at me.But in Turkish,in my native language;I've always been blamed for anything,cursed for anything,humiliated for anything.Most of bad things I've heard,were in Turkish language.I like my language though,but that is just too much for me;I don't want to write in Turkish for a time that I will consider,when I feel comfortable back in Turkish,or when feeling like not panicked while using Turkish language.I think,I feel like this way because I want to get rid of my past,get rid of the bad affects of my past.

The reason I share what I write is,that I feel comfortable doing that.Somebody just passing by on these blogs,could see what I have written,or wouldn't like it and don't read it at all,atleast would leave a comment;these possibilities kinda make me happy here.Maybe a few of them could agree with me.Thinking of that,makes me so happy indeed.Make me believe in life again,perhaps.I just like to write like that,express my feelings.Oh,I almost forgot.I also like the most English word's sharpness.Such as:contested,terrority,apothecarium,alliance,reflection,forge,force,warrior.You don't,to be honestly,you almost can't speak uncontrollably in English,you have to control your voice,your lungs,your diaphram.Thus makes one be calm.To be able to speak,you have to take more oxygen first,then use it rightly etc. makes you calm down,I think.One will have more oxygen rates flowing through his/her blood vessels.

That's all from me today.I hope I will feel better every time I write here.