The humanism?

The humanism?Cant I beat my emotions?But that wasnt my problem.I was driven to be beyond people with high emotion or no emotion system.My brain and logic was allowing to that.But why is that happend?I am still human,and emotions give me pain?Why I cant totally beat my emotions?And if I try to regenerate my emotions on several thing it just sucks.Now,I have high feelings and emotions.But I cant still be motivated.I cant use my %100 performance like %90,then %10 is left.And the important %10.In that %10,there are things which included by emotions and feelings which are low.As I m doing I m in %90 performance,I cant tell my problems properly,and this is going to kill me.I have so big pains by that.