I will definitely be killing myself, it is more certain now. I don't want any people to be around me, both mentally and physically. I just can't really take it. One of the reasons are, I fear from every person, every creature around me. Every moving thing. I don't like them, I like nobody and nothing. I don't like humans. Not even my parents, my brother and sister? No. None. Better they be away from me. I want to live my own life. But without having contact with anyone, I think I can't live in this world. They won't let me, though. I am not going to be able to pay for anything in future. I don't have any talents to work on to make money. At least, I can make myself go completely from this world. I just dont enjoy any minute, any second of it,even miliseconds! The reason is, one or another will going to hurt anyone in any type of relationship, without having a motive, having a reason. You just don't have to do anything. Why wouldn't they just go if they can't find any peace on the other person? I always had the guts to leave the other person alone, if I am not having fun, or finding peace. But why try to examine or squeeze the other to have fun? That is so merciless. Though I don't get expect to get some mercy, I don't at all. How it could be all like that? This situation happens everytime, every type of relationships. And in some relationships, people get to make money. Meanwhile, there is no way to have money without a good overall relationship. I think. I WANT NO RELATIONSHIP. NOT EVEN TALKING TO ANYONE TO SELL ANYTHING OR DO ANYTHING FOR THEM TO LIVE. I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. RATHER I WOULD KILL MYSELF. Which is better for me and the other person that demands or would demand anything from me. Not everybody shall be victorious or succesful, some has to die. Except me.